Have you ever experienced an “aha” moment?
You know the moment when you realise that things need to change in your life? When you have that epiphany and like a rock thrown into a still pond, waves are sent through your whole life. You know the lightbulb moment that is talked about by friends and colleagues that helped shape them and get them to where they are today? Suddenly change is inevitable and you are transformed, a new person.
I had one of those moments back in July 2014. I was sitting on a remote Fijian island with two young kids, a husband with a big job and feeling completely burnt out. That was my “aha” moment. I dreamed I would change my life to put myself first, prioritise spending time with my husband, do more with the community, give back and also pursue my dream of being a yoga teacher. But, you know what, heading into 2018 with expectations high of another new year and new opportunities, I look back to that day and realise that change takes time.
People don’t always tell you that change takes time. And it takes more time than I generally I have patience for. I am in such a hurry to achieve, to constantly do and be there (where ever there is) that on a bad day I get frustrated, I compare myself to others and I want to be in the future now. I want to rush past the day-to-day, miss all the routine, drama and meltdowns from my three children. I want only the good bits; the fun, the laughter, the excitement, the feeling of accomplishment when you have stepped of the preverbal ledge and taken a chance.
But that isn’t life is it?
Change takes time and life is more like a good soup - full with lots of hidden veggies you don’t like but that is when it tastes the best, when you are truly content - with a belly full of warm soup on a cold winters day. And don’t get me wrong, I have made many changes over the last four years having committed to a regular yoga and meditation practice, journaling regularly, moving from full time work to part time, more holidays and date nights with hubbie and also more time for me.
So there have been changes. But it didn’t happen overnight. I keep telling myself things have changed, I am changing. And I know as I head into 2018 there is still more to come. I am still learning, practicing and striving to get my life how I want it. It is a trial and error and I am still working on it each and every day. And as the saying goes, change is evitable but it takes time and I have to be patient with myself above all. I have confidence that when I look back again in another four years (2022) I will see other profound changes. But between then and now it is a step by step, moment by moment, and I’ve learned to be patient and embrace new ways of being. And that has made the difference.