I have a good friend who we thought would never get married. A few months ago, he became engaged which, oddly, got me thinking about software development. You see, marriage and software projects are not as different as you might think. Both begin with a small set of mutually agreed upon promises followed by a lifetime of compromise.

Traditional software development projects have generally followed the paradigm of "tight coupling." This is also similar to marriage in that you know exactly who you're connected to for the long haul. That's the upside. One of the downsides is that you can find yourself with legacy issues. Whether we're talking about a mother-in-law or a mainframe, tight coupling always leaves you with something old and brooding in your basement.

The next generation of software development is focused on "loose coupling." In this paradigm, service oriented architectures (SOA) focus on linking different Web services in a way that can be easily upgraded and manipulated as the needs of the enterprise grow and change. This type of linkage can be seen as unwholesome in the context of human relationships, but it is quite acceptable and beneficial for business IT architectures.

At the heart of SOA lies a set of standards like XML, HTTP, SOAP, and other fun acronyms. These are protocols that help Web services communicate. Developers can build Web services that talk to each other using these protocols instead of hard-coding components together. The most important aspect of the standard protocols is that they help the Web services communicate their needs and expectations to each other. They also provide some flexibility in terms of how, where, and when those needs are communicated and satisfied.

Which brings us back to the matrimonial future of my friend. Any decent wedding officiant (or television self-help guru) will tell you that a successful relationship is based on open communication and the flexibility to respond to the changing needs of those you're bound to. So you see, marriage and software aren't all that different at all.